Step by step survival guide to the first day back at work.


Feeling the post bank holiday blues? Let a tired Mummy take you back to work. The secret is of course to be very well organised.

6:25am – wake up with stiff neck – decide to spend 5 minutes before alarm goes off unkinking neck.

6.30am – decide I deserve just another 5 minutes in bed after an exhausting night of sleeping.

6:45am – Get out of bed, stomp into bathroom for teeth, face, bath and hair.

7:00am – hear little footsteps – bellow for OH to take toddler to toilet.

7:05am – take toddler to toilet while dripping wet and shivering.

7:10am – give self a pat on the back for remembering contact lenses go in BEFORE hand cream is applied. Smug self-congratulatory dance is disturbed by toddler laughing.

7:25am – decide that there aren’t enough minutes in the day to look beautiful and settle for neatly brushed hair, necklace, dress and bit of bronzer. Start searching in drawer for security pass.

7:35am – hysterically ask if anyone knows where pass is. No but it was DEFINATELY seen in the top bedside drawer at some point. Empty drawer on bed.

7:40am – give up and have breakfast – find security pass on the bookcase where it has been all weekend.

7:45am – accept that kids deserve my breakfast cereal more than me and down hot black tea while finding socks and shoes.

7:55am – put kids in car, notice OH has dressed youngest in the same shorts three days in a row (they’re cute but all the same..) decide too late to care about hygiene and standards.

8:05am – drop kids off at my parents – realise left car keys in the passenger door pocket and car has locked itself. Stand in horror looking at car until Mother finds car keys on her kitchen table.

8:15am – drive through little towns and fields thinking wistfully about allotment and whether to squeeze some courgettes in somewhere

8:20am – feel sick as remember that the PA I emailed last week to set up a laptop and projector was not in the office last week and the meeting I need it all for starts today at 9:15

8:25am – try not to hyperventilate at the idea of not having a projector and being ticked off by a PA (I am terrified of all PAs – they are taught how to intimidate people too well).

8:30am – wrestle to get car park card out of tight purse. Swear under breathe at the woman driving slowly through the car park to avoid killing students.

8:35am – apply quick lipstick and try to run to office, feet cant remember how to run in 5 inch heels.

8:37am – hobble upstairs, fling office open, fire up the PC and pick up 3 bizarre voice mails. 8:40am – get cup of black tea before calling PA – its OK she has a screen and laptop arranged. Although it was very short notice….

8:43am – say prayer of thanks for efficient PAs

8:50am – discover there is a paper that I wasn’t aware of for todays meeting. Panic.

9:10am – sit nicely in meeting hoping it will be quick and that I’ll be at my desk by 10:30 to tackle the outstanding jobs

 11:00am – meeting takes a five minute comfort break.

11:50am – meeting still going strong, defer some items and go through any other business.

12:10pm – meeting finishes. Head to office.

12:15pm – hide in office as two PAs politely discuss the replacement of A3 paper in the photocopier.

12:20pm – look longingly outside and wonder how long it is til the next holiday!!

I hope everyone else has a had a smooth start to the working week and month!

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