[picapp align=”right” wrap=”true” link=”term=river+bridge&iid=292973″ src=”http://view4.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/292973/skyline-new-york/skyline-new-york.jpg?size=500&imageId=292973″ width=”380″ height=”254″ /]This is my entry for the Sleep is for the Weak Writing Workshop rather than my normal ramblings.
Oh dear – when I first started writing this blog I was on maternity leave with one little baby; since then I’ve gone back to work, handled the transition from baby to toddler, had another baby, gone on maternity leave again, faced a major restructuring of local government and changes to my role, had a second baby, gave up work to be a stay at home mum, returned quickly to work for a new council and now I’m going to do it again (not another baby this time!).
Tomorrow I start my new job. I am terrified, nobody starts a new job feeling confident unless they are so young and green that they are buoyed up by unconscious incompetence (where you don’t realise that you know nothing) but this is a biggie for me. I’ve had responsibility for a fairly long time and this is a job where I don’t have any staff to supervise but there is nobody to turn to.
I will work alone in an office, I am outside the rest of the staff structure as I am not ultimately managed by the Principal but by the board and if anything goes wrong there is nobody else to step in and use their experience and clout to save the situation. If the college goes ahead with plans without consulting the board it is up to me to spot this and step in, if the board tries to make a decision that is outside their remit it’s my job to step in and if I don’t and a capital investment is erroneously made there will be hell to pay.
There really is no need to moan and groan. I have fallen on my feet and found a job that meets our needs with pay and hours, I have a job that will challenge me and where I will be encouraged (ordered as a condition of my contract) to do a post grad qualification; but I am understandably apprehensive about making a new start again.
Change is a constant in our lives, prehaps it always has been, Heraclitus (a pre-socratic philosopher) said that we can never cross the same river twice, and now in an age where jobs for life or promotion for the person who has been around the longest is no longer the norm it’s common for people to welcome a new colleague to the office and a few years later be managed by the new person. We have to re-evaluate our relationship and identify within our environment, peer group and families, every change has ramifications for how we relate to our single and un-encumbered friends, colleagues or relatives.
I do have a few constants in life that help me deal with the minor daily changes (a new tooth in the kids, eating a bit of my own tooth, or handling new vocabulary) and the major ones (a new job or Ben starting school next year): there are three men who I can count on to cuddle me when I need it (or just hit me with a wooden hammer – same difference). These three men keep me sane; while we all change and adapt to the growing boys the love we have for each other is a constant in our lives and that thought gives me some confidence to go ahead and cross a new river each day.