This is me handing in my homework late to Sleep is for the Weak’s writing workshop (something 16 year old me worried about excessively!)
Hello – you might not be expecting this but I am you in 13 years times. OK – I’ll be honest you’re going through the best and worst days of your life. They are the best in real terms but your blinkered view of things and unrealistic expectations will make them seem truly grim. However, chin up – you truly aren’t the only teenager to seemingly ruin their life with introspection and you will grow out of it.
You will get a moderately decent cleavage for a while but at the momment, breastfeeding and dieting have sent it running. I’m afraid that compared to the rest of your family even at your most buxom momments you are relatively flat chested. It honestly doesn’t matter as much as you think and with a good hair cut and lots of pink clothes nobody will think you are a boy.
Well done on your GCSE’s – a quick note, moaning about a double A at science and being robbed of a double A* might be a little callous when some of your friends are simply pleased with a double C and some other pupils in your school are now wondering what to do with less than 5 GCSE’s at C or above.
You might not realise this yet but you are bright. You hardly broke a sweat at your GCSEs, you are able to coast along to get good results. Now here comes your A’levels and VI form; you are finally going to achieve your life ambition and get noticed by lots of boys, so you have to make a choice you can coast and get drunk and have LOTs of male attention for the next few years or you can knuckle down work hard, play at weekends and maybe go to Oxbridge? Hmmm… still undecided.
OK I’ll admit that it is fun to go through the boys in the area like a bad case of food poisoning but it won’t bring you much happiness. You won’t find a long term relationship and you won’t find deep contentment. Instead you could work hard and make smart choices…
Never mind, I know what choices you’ll make but it all works out in the end. You get bored of dating a different boy every night and eventually meet the love of your life at Uni. You’ll marry him and have at least two children. That won’t suprise you. I know that you have always seen yourself married with kids in the future. The journey there might not be as glamorous as you hoped (no you don’t get to be a diplomat overseas, you don’t live in a huge Elizabethan Manor house and you aren’t going to marry a wealthy barrister – sorry).
You’ll do some odd jobs over the years – did you ever fancy stopping people’s benefits? Well never mind. It gets you staff management experience and teaches you a lot about office politics.
Anyway – cheer up. You will meet some great people over the next few years, you’ll learn to really appreciate your family. Make the most of your grandad now. Go on those long walks with him while he is still fit enough. Stop moping (and when you go thorugh a gothic phase in around 6 months please don’t buy that stupid dress in Kensington – it doesn’t do anything for our figure and really looks quite stupid).
Best wishes for both of our futures.
PS. In a few months time when you decide not to go home but to sleep over at a friends after clubbing all night, contrary to what you think your parents would prefer you to wake them at 2am with a call to let them know; switching your mobile off at that point to avoid waking the other people sleeping in your friends house is not a great idea either.