Briefing for Babies (and toddlers)


TOP SECRET – NEED TO KNOW ONLY

Mission: Frustrate parents (She Ra and He Man)
W/C 26/10/09 Briefing for Baldy Boy and Noisy Boy

1. Well done for recent efforts. Baldy Boy your foray into food has created more potential for chaos, Noisy Boy your tantrums have escalated in volume, intensity and frequency this is excellent.
2. Key Tasks for the week:
a. Baldy Boy – 5 coughing / choking incidents when eating at least 2 to result in some vomit (bonus if you can manage projectile vomitting or vomit on She Ra).
b. Baldy Boy – force trip to surgery with persistent cough and cold. Try to drag this out so that as many people as possible comment that they can feel your chest rattling to increase She Ra’s guilt at not wanting to take you to the surgery.
c. Noisy Boy and Baldy Boy – ensure that when Baldy Boy is screaming frantically for his milk She Ra runs into the lounge with a warm bottle to find all of the toys on the chair she sits on to feed Baldy Boy.
d. Noisy Boy carry on with campaign to hide key items from He Man. Well done on hiding one of the two cordless phones, a Virgin controller and the back of the remote control. As He Man observed you hiding a plastic fork in the slot on the gas fire place this venue can no longer be used. May I suggest hiding his keys or work pass.
e. Noisy Boy run and scream like a Banshee whenever He Man trys to speak. On no account can he be allowed to speak.
f. Noisy Boy continue using the end of naptime as a strategic tantrum point, after a period of quiet and calm She Ra is unable to cope with the inevitable post nap tantrum and after being told to “Go Away” enough times will offer a snack.
g. Baldy Boy increase the number of solids consumed in a day to ensure She Ra spends more time disinfecting and cleaning the high chair and tray.
h. Noisy Boy use the power of guilt on He Man by being “scared” that he is a monster.
i. Noisy Boy make sure that wind is forcibly expelled from either end in any crowded social situation to embaress She Ra (note: Do not do this when He Man is also present as his enjoyment of this would make She Ra feel better).
3. Good luck men, de-brief on the weeks activity due Mon 2/11/09 at 0100 hours.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Briefing for Babies (and toddlers)

  1. Child Behavior Modification is so tough. There are moments that yelling at them is not enough. Tantrums in toddlers start when they want something which they cannot get or even when you do what they don’t want to.

    The best way to deal with toddlers tantrums is to create the best activities that are fun and educational. You have to remember that at this is the stage, child adopts all things that happen around him. This is also the best time to allow your child into different activities.

  2. Kim

    Absolute genius. I’m sure at the debrief you’ll be able to say “Mission accomplished boys!”

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